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Overview

We do not care what you do for a living, if anything. This is the only school--that's right, the only school--that doesn't tell you what to do for a living. Look at any other University website, and you'll see listings of degree programs and courses that are designed to train you for some vocation. Vocation? Work? Forget it. Life isn't about what you do, it's about what you don't do and what we're NOT going to do is work.

Again, that's the biggest difference between Them and Us. These poor suckers are paying money so they can learn how to work!!! With US, you don't pay us money, you pay us Slack, and we in turn teach you how to generate copius amounts of slack in your own life--whatever it is you do.

Again, it's not what you do--it's how you do it. Let's proceed to a case study.

Case Study 1

Matt is a computer programmer (web development). He has worked hard to learn his trade, and he's well-respected in the industry. Every morning he wakes up and goes to work, building web pages and programming them throughout the day. He makes a great salary doing it, too--he's able to drive a nice car, live in a snobby neighborhood, and wear nice clothes. He's into gadgets as well, he's bought several new computers, iPods, and other gee-gaws in the past few years. To support his likes, he works 60-70 hours per week. He enjoys his work, but doesn't have time to do much other than work.

When Matt first arrived at the International School of Slack, his blood pressure was high, his schedule filled, and his slack was at an all-time low. To repair the damage, we implemented our patented two-step process: 1) Adjust the mindset, and 2) Adjust the currency. He first started on our coursework and pursued a rigorous training program of watching "The Big Lebowski," "Slackers," "Vacation," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," "Repo Man," and "They Call Me Bruce" in heavy rotation. He was forced, at times, to listen to every slaxploitation soundtrack ever created, while his diet was systematically altered from strict vegan vegetarianism to Ramen, Mac & Cheese, and gas-station fried chicken.

As the mind-shift began to take hold, he realized what bullshit it was working all the time. He was subsequently trained in the art of Anti-Work, a highly rigorous discipline wherein various caffeine-based stimulants and Frank Zappa are used to occassionally place the individual into a state of FreekOutIsm and subsequent physical collapse. In this way, Matt was able to work 4 hours on Monday, and spending the rest of the week writing emails about how much work he's doing! Management Never Noticed! With all of his free time, Matt was able to resume his training, and he is now living in Denton, Texas, as a full-time slacker. He sold his big-willy house and his pimpin' ride, and he now rides a home-built bicycle to the local library where he spends his time reading old "High Fidelity" magazines. He's earning the same salary as before, is equally successful, but let's face it--he doesn't do jack shit, other than four hours' per week!

The biggest change is that Matt's "work ethic" has been replaced by a "slack ethic" that allows him to completely blow off 99% of his "daily work" and spread out 4 hours of intense slavery into a simulated 70 hour workweek. He's programming in perl, and has all the time in the world. After switching to a slack-based economy he is better off financially, and donates heavily to the International School of Slack to keep our operations alive. "Thanks, Matt!"

Case Study 2

This could be you! Enroll in the International School of Slack today!