E d S l a c k a n d t h e S l a c k e s t r a

GET YOUR GROOVE ON AND YOUR SLACK BACK WITH ED SLACK AND THE SLACKESTRA!

NEW SLACK TRACK 28-APR-2014

Now that we're knee-deep in 2014, it's time to start previewing some of the new slack that's coming your way.

We present to you...Slack on a stick: Slack On A Stick.mp3

Keep in mind that this is full slack, not some sort of cheap crap being passed off by some baby boomers. This stuff is laden with 100% irony, 100% slack, and 100% bulldada.

DOES ANYONE USE THE INETERNAT ANYMORE 23-FEB-2014

Yeah, so the new years resolution for 2014 is to go FULL SLACK. We've finally stabilized financially, got an absolutely monstrous recording setup, and the industry is so freekin dead right now you can hear a pin dropped by miley cyrus through beats by dr. dre headphones coming from a best buy clear across town played through a basement-budget ipod clone while watching terrible youtube videos of uncaptioned kung-fu failures filmed in 1977

That's right. We're back. Stay tuned.

THE HIPSTER SENDUP 07-18-2012

Check out this cool vid from portlandia ("She's making jewelry now") : She's Making Jewelry Now youtube

Totally great sendup of the "I have no freaking clue what to do with myself so I'll start making {jewelry | scarves | paintings | hats | music }" movement. What we need, though, is a remake with the following lyrics:

HE'S MAKING WEBSITES NOW
HE'S GOT HIS OWN WEBSITE
HE MAKES EACH SITE BY HAND
ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE EACH NIGHT

HE'S MAKING WEBSITES NOW
HE'S GOT HIS LIFE ON TRACK
WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY NOW
'CUS' HE'S GOT THAT DOTCOM SPIRIT BACK
Work will start, immediately!

THE RETURN OF MYSPACE 07-10-2012

Hopped on myspace this morning for the first time in, like, five years. Let me tell you what it was like:

It ruled.

That's right! It's the total ghetto of the internet, the "Cement City" of the innertubes, and as such, it feels like home to us. If it were possible to smell a website, I'd be able to savor that sweet mixture of damp concrete, hints of urine, poorly-maintained cars covering a greasy, slippery slab of bumpy hot asphalt, strange wild weeds parting the sidewalk, sweaty and awkward college students, ramen noodles cooking in a faraway kitchen, stale spilled beer, and overheated electrical amplifier circuitry.

Welcome home. Welcome to myspace.

Try checking out the slackestra myspace here

CRAIGSLIST: LOVE IT OR HATE IT, IT'S CRAIGSLIST 05-17-2012

We're about to unload some lame heavy gear on "the list." Amplifiers and vintage instruments, mostly.

Not good. Going broke is no fun. The last time we played anywhere, we just about broke even. Nobody understands how much it costs to bring all this junk into playable shape, cart it to hell and gone, pay the soundman (see below for lyrics), ancilliary band members, publicity, astroturfers on facebook, etc--it can drive ya nuts!

We're in the process of scheduling some big money gigs but in the mean time, craiglist, here we come!




Sung to the tune of: "Don't pay the ferryman"

It was late at night in the open bar,
Playing like a man on the run,
A lifetime spent preparing for the montuno;

The bridge is closer now and the search is on,
Reading from a chart in the mind,
Yes, there's the drummer who missed the fill,
And there's the idiot at the console,

And when the shit came down,
He heard a wild mic squeal.
There were voices on the stand - "Don't do it!"
Voices out of sight - "Don't do it!
"Too many men have failed before;
Whatever you do:

Don't pay the soundman;
Don't even fix a price.
Don't pay those front of the house pricks;
Until they stop fucking with the monitor mix!"

HA HA! RELIX! 03-02-2012

As you know, our long-running feud with Relix magazine has resulted in some serious lulz.

It's not that we don't like Relix, but we believe the corporate buyout in the late aughts pretty much summarizes what's happened to anything cool in this world. Yeah, 30 years ago there was a significant slack movement (even if it went by different names), now it's all MegaCorp.



PRINTED MUSIC, DO YOU SPEAK IT? 02-04-2012

Had an interesting discussion with some semi-famous dude about the role of music, printed music, and notation, etc.

Him:  yeah man, wow, like, groove with the music or whatever.  don't make me read and crush my creativity
Us:  dude, just learn how to read the damned notes, take a piano lesson or five and get it over with.
Him:  yeah man, wow, like, don't harsh my vibe, man, you know, ruining my  groove with the music or whatever.
Us:  wait a minute, you're a bot--you aren't even listening
Him:  yeah man, wow, like, don't clog my mental arteries with note names and stuff, man, I just want to feel the groove
Us: cat bird nuts house pistachio
Him:  yeah man, wow, like, all that THEORY is so confining
Us: Uh...
Him:  yeah man, wow, like, don't tread on me with your NOTES and CHORDS and shit
Us: you can't hit control-C in real life, can you?
Him: whoa, I really love this great ten-minute phish solo
Us:
Him: whoa, I'm going to go to "Lincoln Calling" and hear some really great bands
Us:
Him:  yeah man, wow, like, groove with the music or whatever.  don't make me read and crush my creativity

SLACKESTRA VS RELIX: HA HA, HA HA - 12-12-2011

Well friends, it looks like the Slackestra's plan on outlasting Relix is moving along smoothly. As you might recall, Relix began being semi-cool, but ultimately was de-slackfied by The Man, after which they shortly began an aggressive "campaign of indifference" against the very types of grassroots chumps that made them famous in the first place (see below).

Oh sure we dig, there were business deals, dollars were spent, foundations were created, and backs were slapped, but let's face it: a tool of the man is still a tool of the man. The Slackestra, however, represents your best bet! The only place most of us ever SAW Relix magazine was at Borders and look where that got 'em?

In a world where myspace is riding in the back of the bus, what else can we expect!?

Ode to Relix

O ride on baby boomers
Drive your volksagens to Borders
Buy your Relix magazine
Learn all about "the scene"

O ride on baby boomers
Drink your hot lattes at Borders
Cell phone is now ringing, 
    to the brokerage must get back
Tough luck sucka, 
    guess you lost your slack

REALLY COOL THINGS CAN HAPPEN - 10-15-2011

All the cool things are happening away from this glowing rectangle. There are people--lots of them--near you. They are tired of the rectangle, too. They want to visit with you and talk to you.

Moreover, there are things you can do that don't involve the rectangle. You can walk, swim, jump, eat, smile, eat, smile, eat, eat, and eat. Learn to play an instrument. Learn to act. Learn to read letters that don't glow.

There are secret messages written by people from Long Ago. Those messages are written for you to understand, but you will only find them in "books."

Better, go buy a bunch of "Aebersolds," open the windows, let in some air, and play for 3, 4, 5 hours.

You know who you are. Go. Do it.

NOTHING COOL IS GOING TO HAPPEN - 09-13-2011
If you're like us, you spend a lot of time on the Internet. Waiting. Waiting for something cool to happen, like: * An unexpected email from a long-lost friend
* A job offer from some cool place you've always wanted to work
* A "friend request" from an old pal
* An article that says "everything is going to be all right."
Well, I got news for you...THAT STUFF AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

Let's face it. All the social networks, email accounts, and monster.com job search agents in the world aren't going to take away the fact that the Internet is a damn lonely place.

Our advice is to roll back the clock. Get your groove on, and your slack back, by going to a Slackestra show. Or just improve your karma by sending us money. Lots of it. It would sure be better than checking your inbox just one more time before I go to bed just in case little Bill Billerspoon from 3rd grade found you on facebook and wants to tell you about the crush he had on you, and O by the way there's a Dream Job waiting for you as a studio artist ("just paint all day! we trust your creativity") downtown and here's your 8th grade teacher admitting that you really were a genius and they're sorry for yelling at you and look, uncle JimBob is giving you that '57 Thunderbird you always wanted....

IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, TOOTS. STOP HITTING 'REFRESH', UNPLUG THIS THING, AND GO SEE A LIVE SHOW ALREADY.

SLACK GEAR UPDATE - 06-15-2011
Boy howdy, now we're talking. Nobody ever tells you this, but if your style depends on cheap crappy equipment, the odds are good that you'll blow a knee, burst an artery, or compress a bunch of disks hauling around all that junk. Snag a few of these and you'll be much more likely to walk the next day.

Back in 1993 or so, someone told us (at a bar) "oh yeah, soon everyone's going to be using small speakers and amplifiers, and nobody's going to lug around large heavy synths. You can BUY all that old-ass crap if you want, but you're fools! FOOLS! Now excuse me while I go listen to this great tune by "four non blondes."

Correctly identifying this dude as the sucka he is, we went ahead on our mad scheme. Some of the legendary "big boned" products to have graced the studio include:

  • One 2 x 15 bass cabinet, constructed of 1" plywood and kryptonite (approxmiate weight: 200 pounds)
  • One Hammond Organ in a custom cabinet made from black hole matter (approximate weight: 5 years)
  • One dubious-looking electric piano (approximate weight: five "holy craps" and a "my arm, I think it's broken"
  • One stupidly unwieldy Peavy bass head (stolen by crooks, see below, hope ya get a hernia from it)
  • One Peavy six-string bass of questionable worth (we considered using TWO straps for this one)
  • One Leslie speaker simulator made of the heaviest, yet most fragile material known to humans
  • One Randall Bass head (hey, the pawn shop dude who sold it to us used to play with "The Millions" so that makes us famous, right) that completely ruled, but I sold it to some unsuspecting dude who is now a famous piano player. Not sure who got the better end of that deal...

    WHERE HAVE ALL THE PARTY PEOPLE GONE? - 03-02-2011

    Yabba-dabba-da-da-da-da-da-dee-da-da
    Where are all the party people at?
    Where have all the party people gone?
    Yabba-dabba-da-da-da-da-da-dee-da-da
    
    I'm glad you asked? I'll tell you! Get on your corporate social media site of choice, and marvel how all the freaks, weirdos, misfits, slackers, lackers, cutthroats, class clowns, double-daters, syncophants, ironicists, dunderheads, eddie haskells, and other square pegs have turned into web developers, system integrators, graphic artists, web developers, real estate agents, financial advisors, sales consultants, and web developers. What the hell happened to everyone? We're content to being the last bastion of slack in a slackless world, but c'mon people...it's like nobody's even TRYING anymore!

    THE WAY FORWARD - 02-05-2011 As production on the "Antisubmoron device" continues, we're carefully charting the resurgence (well, it's a weak resurgence, if there is one) of "trash audio" stereo systems. Ye Olde Locale Junk Shoppe has a compact stereo system (you remember these maybe, a woodgrain and brushed silver rectangle, the aspect of a cereal box yet big enough to take over your desktop, with an 8-track OR CASSETTE, turntable, and tuner/amp, all in one!) for $100. This shows that we're entering a new era of electro-kitsch, scrolling slowly into the 1980s. The BAD STUFF that audiophiles of yesteryear wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole is now worth Big Bank. What's next? No-brainer: expect boomboxes, hi-fi VCRs, cassette recording gear, Sony Discmans, 5-CD changers, and anything from the 1989 DAK catalog to be on "antiques roadshow" soon.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2011! Things have been slack here at the castle of Count Slackula, to say the least. 2011 is a special year, in that it is the fifteenth anniversary of the founding of the Slackestra, Slackentelechy, and the anti-(anti-(anti-art)) movement. During that period we've travelled thousands of miles, met tons of fans, played counteless gigs and jam sessions, and generally been complete layabouts--but very MOTIVATED ones. Here is a list of some of the changes we've seen in the past fifteen years (and yes, be prepared for endless streams of nostalgic ca-ca for the next few months):

  • Ivan Stang moved the subgenius headquarters to ohio. Goodbye, church of the subgenius, don't let the door hit ya where the Lord split ya!
  • Denton turned into a suburb of Dallas
  • Austin turned into a suburb of Dallas
  • San Antonio turned into a suburb of Dallas
  • The music industry totally lost its relevance
  • All the baby boomer musicians got jobs teaching "music industry" courses
  • All the gen-x musicians got jobs as "web developers"
  • Everyone got fired, laid off, or laid off and then fired.
  • The Slackestra only got...slacker.

    That's it for now, kids. More dada to come. We're back to working on setting up the Summer schedule, the Fall tour, and all the other random stuff that entails. Stay slack!

    UPDATE: RELIX MAGAZINE SHUNS OPEN DIALOG, PREFERS SILENCE - 08-06-2010 So we actually write an email to these dudes, and what do we get? NOTHING. We go from being a C-list band in the Relix whorehouse to being NOTHING, in five short years. I guess we should've sent in those Bonnaroo audition tapes after all! Don't mind us, we're just a slack band from Texas, or is it Nebraska? It's cool, suckaz. What we're doing instead is looking to the future. I think we're going to make our OWN magazine, and not invite them to come play.

    THE FEUD WITH RELIX MAGAZINE CONTINUES - 06-05-2010
    Well, it probably doesn't, but whatever. Relix magazine has sadly jumped the shark, so we're cool with them dissing us. While relix magazine has become a haven of poseurs and babyboomer wannabes ("Hey, I can like the same music grandpa likes!"), the Slackestra has done nothing but become MORE niche, MORE strange, and LESS commercial (the last Relix we saw had the Drive By Truckers in it! Great band, but...c'mon dudes).

    WHY DOES RELIX MAGAZINE HATE THE SLACKESTRA - 02-02-2009
    If you think we're trying to create controversy where none exists, think again. First, scroll down to where we got STONE COLD dissed in their poll. Then, at one point, we were featured on thier "blah blah whatever bands" page, but now we are mysteriously disappeared. Last seen, Februrary 2008, I believe, but now--poof! More proof that the con has infiltrated the 'hipster' scene. Do we take this seriously? HECK YES. Are we surprised? HELL NO. At first, one thinks "yadda yadda" then you think "no--no yadda yadda--this is yet another example of the con beatin' down the slack." We'll keep researching this...

    ROLL THE TAPE, FOOL - 02-01/2009
    Finally, we got back some of the critical gear (recording stuff) that some thugs boosted over a year ago. We'll be finishing the fourth album in the next 1d20 weeks.

    EVOLUTION REQUIRES SLACK! 30-Nov-09
    Wow, scientific confirmation (from ant colonies, no less--boy are we tired of hearing about those! "zomg get to work loulz like the antz huhuh"). Apparently proper ant colony function REQUIRES Slack Ants to function properly. I'm already cookin' up a spinoff group in tribute.


    TWO FISTS, ONE FACE: THE LATEST TECHNIQUE - 11/11/2009
    This is an oldie, but a goodie. Like the rest of you, we have bullshit errands to run. Constantly. Stupid crap. People asking us to go pick up this, or drop off that. "Hey Ed, the tubes in my amp are blown, can you go to the electronics store and pick me up some of these?" Right. Whateva. So, here's how it works:

    1. Conduct the original mission, as assigned. Use the "favor asker's" car/gas whenever possible.
    2. Conduct ANOTHER mission, under the radar. Stop by a pawn shop, a bar, or a used record store. Bonus points if you take WAAAY longer than required, and then kvetch about the long lines, etc.

    Two fists, one face! Of course, you NEVER tell anyone why you've been gone so long...

    NEW SLACK ON THE HORIZON: 08-NOV-09
    So dig this: we've finally writing our FOURTH album, code named the "Antisubmoron Device." We'll put the rough mixes up here for people to enjoy, but in the mean time, we wanted to share the good news with you, our loyal readers. Slack on!

    MEGA UPDATE: 22-OCT-2009 - WHOA!
    So we're finally starting to get things happening again moving into Fall. There are times when it's difficult to be slacking AND in a band, at the same time. Often there are conflicing desires--the desire to sleep and recover from h1n1, vs. the desire to actually play music and shed on some tunes.

    Right now, it's time for a nap.

    LAME UPDATE 15-OCT-2009
    So if you're like 99% of the rest of the people on this planet, you've come down with the H1N1 virus, the UBER slack illness whose symptoms include:

  • lethargy
  • apathy
  • sullenness
  • idleness
  • extended sleep periods
  • irritability
  • apathy, again

    If you have it, enjoy it. This will be the last chance you get to lay in bed for a week!

    UPDATE: 23-Mar-2009

    Not sure what the he// has been going on, but it's been like, a long time since anyone's updated this site. We here at the slackestra aren't much interested in the internet, and since it costs money to use and stuff, we're not too keen on dialing up to our ISP on our 33.6K modem and dorking around in emacs trying to edit this page. That being said, all's well in slackland. The corporate takeover of Denton Texas continues unabated, even in the cruddy economy.

    Here's the latest lowdown:

  • Some douchebags stole a bunch of our gear. With it, a mixing console, recording software, patch cables, effects cables, amplifiers, you know it. Whee.
  • Ramen noodles are $0.11 a package at the local food store. I have two cases of those, and a case of PBR sitting in the slackwagon as I type this.
  • Work sucks. Seriously, how do you people stand this? I'm going to find an anti-job very swiftly now.
  • The eternal gig scheduling machine is now in full bore, with stuff being lined up for this summer/fall as we speak. I guess that means we should rehearse or something? naaah.

    It still blows my mind that I haven't updated this in almost a year. Clearly the lethargy that comes with the heat of the Denton Texas sun has taken effect.

    The slackestra is more alive than ever, so don't lose hope, slackophiles!!

    Update: 05-Jul-2008 - Ha ha!

    Hope you're all doing well. We're gearing up for our third anti-album, and are practicing as we speak. Ed is still employed, though he's working hard to fix that.

    Update: 03-Apr-2008 - We dun TOLD U SO
    So should anyone be surprised that our economy is about to go face-down in a pool of its own vomit? We sure ain't. We've known since about 1995 that we were living on borrowed time, and most of our listeners and fans have taken our message to heart. We've been on the "Ed Slack Program" (available here for free) for quite a while now. Enjoy the slack!

    03-Mar-2008: Slack Vampires
    As you know, we're working on our next album, entitled "Slack Vampires." Rehearsals consist of improving our ability to metabolize frightening amounts of controlled substances while navigating 30-minute-long songs ("But it only seemed like an hour!"). We won't end up actually calling our next album "Slack Vampires," but it's a great name for a jerk in progress.

    And Now a Word from our Sponsors, or: The Best Magazine/Website Ever, even if they diss the slackestra in their polls:
    Relix The Magazine For Music
    We offer reviews on CDs, Videos, Podcasts, Dowloads from various critics and music publications. Also shop our online store for CDs, DVDs, Videos, T-Shirts and Gear, books and posters and guitar string bracelets for the music lover.

    Update 05-Jan-2008 - What's up with the slackestra? - Well as many of you have noticed, the slackestra has been on hiautus for about 2 months. The rigors of travel, socializing with morons, and the occassional "straight job" (now THERE's an oxymoron for you) have totally drop-kicked our collective slack through the end zone goal posts. The good news is that we've regrouped and are working on our SECOND album, demo tracks from which have already been given the "high sign" for the usual media circus, and so on. Starting up the summer tour plans as well, so stay tuned, and above all--STAY SLACK.

    Update 05-Oct-2007 TRAVELLING SUCKS AND YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR UNDERWEAR MORE THAN TWICE A WEEK - Not much more needs to be said. One good thing is that hotels have television sets. We invented a drinking game to go along with all the lame hospital soap operas they show during prime time.

    - Someone breaks into tears: take a sip
    - Someone dies: slam your beer
    - Some shitty music plays while someone pontificates: take a shot
    - Some self-important doctor argues with another narcissist: take two shots
    - Some vapid megalomaniac physician sleeps with another vapid megalomaniac physician: finish the case

    What do you think? Sounds like a winner to us. Can't wait for the ghey's anatomy - slash - ER drunkfest this thursday

    Update 05-Sep-2007 GETTING THE HELL OUTTA DODGE - Busting out of town on our annual "tour de slack." If you're a subscriber to our mailing list, you've already gotten the schedule. I've tried to put some of the dates up on myspace, but it's such a PITA to do that (if you have a multi-night stand you need to go back and re-enter for each night, talk about dullsville!). We'll provide updates in this space if time and slack allows.


    Update 20-Aug-2007 JOB ALERT JOB ALERT - well, it's happened. Ed Slack now has a job, for the first time in almost five years. This, more than anything else, needs to be publicized--the recent 'sub prime mortgage meltdown' and credit crunch are certainly signs of an impending economic crisis, but the fact that Ed has to actually work--THE HORRORS! GRAB YOUR SOCKS, PEOPLE.


    Update 01-Aug-2007 - Not too much to say, dudes. The popularity of the slackestra has expanded greatly in the past few months, and frankly, it's becoming a household word. Dig this dude who has not only appropriated the name of Count Slackula, but has also started up a Slackestra of his own! Praise 13013!!

    Update 27-Jul-2007 - We've gotten some interesting emails from people in the hinterlands, asking us to play a few shows out West. While we're concentrating on our tour (TX-LA-TN) preparations for the Fall, we will definitely do what we can to hook up a few shows in cities like York, Columbus, Grand Island, Sutton...Central Nebraska Rocks!

    EXPRESSIVE, USEFUL--AND YES, SLACK--COMPUTER PROGRAMS - 21-Jul-07

    FINALLY, a reason to use the Internet. Type any of these programs into your Apple ][ or C-64, and enjoy their insightful, practical advice!

    10 REM THIS RULES
    20 PRINT "HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU EARN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB "; A$
    30 IF (A$ > 30000) THEN PRINT "YOU ARE A TOOL OF THE MAN!!!"
    40 IF (A$ < 30001) THEN PRINT "MINIMUM WAGE IS FOR SUCKERS!!11"
    50 END
    
    * * * 
    
    10 REM THIS RULES
    20 PRINT "DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?"
    30 INPUT A$
    40 PRINT "IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY, BECAUSE YOUR JOB HATES YOU SUCKA!!!"
    50 END
    
    * * * 
    
    10 REM THIS SUCKS
    20 PRINT "DO YOU LIKE THE SLACKESTRA "
    30 INPUT A$
    40 IF LEFT(A$,1) = "Y" OR LEFT(A$,1) = "N" THEN GOTO 60
    50 PRINT "YOU DOUCHEBAG ITS EITHER Y OR N" 
    55 GOTO 20
    60 IF LEFT(A$,1) = "Y" THEN PRINT "GOOD.  THERE IS STILL SOME HOPE SUCKA"
    70 IF LEFT(A$,2) = "N" THEN PRINT "GOOD.  THERE IS STILL SOME HOPE"
    80 END
    

    FULL ALERT -- 15-Jul-07

    It looks like the leash is being yanked and Ed Slack may have to get a "straight job" (if there is such a thing). If you know of anyone looking to pay top dollar for someone who doesn't really do much other than play the B3 organ and run sound please let us know IMMEDIATELY.

    Check out our mysapce site: www.myspace.com/slackestra. We update that a little more frequently than this horrendous waste of time called a website. Plus, you get to support "Knecht Ruprecht" Murdoch in his quest to rule the world before googul does.

    (1-July-2007) HOLY SMOKES, WE'RE BACK ONLINE -- After a long hiatus, we brought the original SlackuSite back online. The prior version was a bit minimalistic, so we went ahead and brought back the full slack. It will result in decreased credibility and increased suspicion of the slackestra's musical ability and intent, which is how we like it.

    * * * NEW MP3S ADDED 16-OCT-04 * * *
    (scroll down, look on left)

    New slack mp3 located here. This is a departure from our usual slack music, but I suppose it's still slack. Part of a larger surreality work, called "For Just a Brief Moment, We Sounded Like a Pat Metheny B-Side"

    * * * New Discussion Thread: Is Lincoln Music A Tool of the Man? * * *

    Read about it here
    Yes, we know a guestbook isn't the same as a real discussion forum, but then again, if we ever had any real discussions, maybe we'd reconsider. HA!

    ANTI SLACK ALERT: CONDITION WHO CARES ANYMORE -- UPDATED 20-DEC
    Update (20-Dec) -- We're taking auditions for talent for our upcoming tour in 05. Email slackula at slackula@spamyahoospam.com (remove spam) for details

    Update (19-Dec) -- Well, Christmas is upon us, so: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Next year will begin our "Five Gigs in Aught-Five" campaign, and we're looking to do some major damage in the midwest. Until then, be slack.

    Update (15-Dec) -- I don't usually plug other bands, but if you're here, you should check out The Mathematics. They're in Kansas, but worth the trip, they kind of rule, and I think they're pretty slack.

    Update (22-Nov) -- Well, the good news is that for some unknown reason, there has been a major influx of slack, which means we don't have to get real jobs(tm). Yes that's right--sitting in the basement, making crappy web pages, drinking beer, all that stuff--can continue, at least for a little while. Now we just have to actually do something...Ed Slack saw a free hammond organ (a hammond aurora 8125 or some shiz) sitting by the curb, but by the time he had enough "courage in a bottle" and a truck to go back and get it, it was gone. Let's hope this is a good sign!

    Update (20-Nov) -- Ok, the "one gig in 2004" drive is pretty much done for. We're not sure why, but jeez it's been lazy around here in the Slack Labs. Not just slack, but lazy. Seriously, what do we do all day? I don't even know! We haven't turned on the "Old 800," (the Fender Rhodes suitcase piano, so named because of its weight) in almost two months. We blame the city of Lincoln (this joint was anti-slack in the 90s, and is even more anti-slack now) entirely. Maybe it's time to move to New Jersey. Ugh.

    Update (13-Oct) -- We're getting ready to kick off our "one gig in 2004" drive. We're hoping to actually play one gig this year. Let me know if you can help. If you'd rather make a cash donation, that's good too.


    What does this mean? One of the beauties of the Slack Experiment(tm) is that Ed Slack and the Slackestra® are self-funded and completely independent of the man. Things being what they are, the forces of ANTI-SLACK abhor this condition, and have successfully conspired to STEAL OUR SLACK. That's right--our slack is being stolen right in front of our eyes, like a bad vodka martini night, watching "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" in its entirety, one frame at a time in your lonely apartment (Not that we would know).

    If this keeps up, we're going to need to get real jobs(tm), which will place slack in bondage to the man!

    In other words, MAJOR SUCKAGE FOR ALL WHO SEEK A LIFE OF SLACK, a TOTAL badass bummer.


    HOW CAN YOU HELP?
    Contact your local radio station and ask them to play this tune, a grim and terrifying omen of the anti-slack to come. By spreading the word, we can unite as one and defeat the forces of the Anti-Slack.

    Also, if you know of anyone willing to pay top dollar for someone who doesn't do a whole lot, FEEL FREE to hook a brutha up!

    That's right--contact your radio stations today! FOR GOD'SAKE: Save Ed Slack!!!


    THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!

    Which of these bands' music do you think is best described as psychedelic?
    
    Top Results:
    1. The Dead 19.8%
    2. The Disco Biscuits 10.5%
    3. Furley 8.5%
    4. Sound Tribe Sector 9 8.2%
    5. Phish 7.1%
    3928.  Ed Slack and the Slackestra® 0.002%
    

    Two things.
    1) We aren't psychedelic, because we require you to be fully aware of the shift in slackenetelchy that takes place--illegal substances would mar the effect
    2) Note that the poll above talks about "rock and roll" -- remember we aren't a rock 'n' roll band, we're a SLACK 'N' ROLL BAND -- there's a difference, or something. We INVENTED the genre (yesthat'sright--do a google on it), so we oughta know, if you dig. If you want, we can slackify anything, anything from "Hey Bob-A-Ree-Bob" to "Land of 1,000 dances." We'll even slackify "Clay Aiken" or "Reuben Studdard."

    The Slackestra® is the last living full-groove slack groove band in the Midwest. An evening with the Slackestr®a is unforgettable, as we still cultivate the art of the extended groove. None of our songs are less than fifteen minutes long, we never play the same thing the same way twice, and none of our three-hour shows include more than ten songs. You'll feel like it's 1972 (or 1993, depending on your personal dada-calibration levels) all over again.

    Blues, Jazz, Rock, Soul, Funk--nothing is sacred around here. Ed and the boys blur the Record-Company-Defined labels that apply to all these different genres, creating a relaxing yet frightening mix that will alter your stream of unconsciousness. We continually conduct research in this area, and with our generous self-replicating grant money, hope to further Slack in the largely anti-slack midwest.

    Get your groove on, and your slack back with the Slackestra!®

    Mission Statement: To remain in a state of, and encourage our listeners to achieve, a state of Slackentelechy.

    How do we reach this goal? By performing R&D work on new styles of slack music, particularly slack 'n' roll. We also do culinary experiments. Our latest recipe is here

    Look at what we came up with! I can't believe we're the first, but it's true...now you can have your very own "While you were Art" message pad--I'm sure we all know people who could use THIS! *cough* *cough* For those who don't get it, click here for an explanation.

    What the press say...
    "For God's Sake, a Reason to Come to Broadway" -- Chris Rock

    "The Slackestra showcases the Hammond organ, and Ed Slack's organ technique runs the gamut from classic R&B stylings to weird 60s freakout rock. Definitely worth a listen, although be warned that some of the Slackestra's songs can peel paint off the walls." -- Pierce Grimm, Slacker e|zine

    "The Slackestra is certainly one-of-a-kind group. The show is the closest you're going to get to a Zappa/Santana/Monty-Python/Muppet Show mix in this town" -- Chris Clak, Purple Pumpkin Records

    "The Grateful Dead, in their slackest moments, got nuthin' on these guys. The "dead" is a lot better band, but they weren't as slack." -- Robert Ong

    "This is basically the anti-media equivalent of Quentin Tarantino. Pure genius" -- J2ee


    [Ed's note: Muppet Show?]

    ...and that brings us to possibly the most important part: Purchase Merchandise here

    Obligatory Sound Clips:

    Here's a sampling of our diverse, hammond-organ driven repertoire.

    We've been featured on the Hour of Slack.

    We also have songs on our crappy Myspace page.

    Excerpt 1 New! Slakoptikon [Ed's note: Don't blame me, I can't even listen to this]
    Excerpt 2 I slacked the sheriff
    Excerpt 3 New! (with eclectic) Inner City Blues
    Excerpt 4 A section of a longer subslack surreality work, the Slack Horizon
    Excerpt 5 New! (with eclectic) Some Pixies Tune
    Excerpt 6 A non-sequitr
    Excerpt 7A good reason why people still play real Hammond B-3 organs

  • Ed Slack and the Slackestra! (Artist's Rendition)

    Slackestra, Chalk Art by Hayden Clark


    We're self-funded and completely independent of The Man--Now THAT'S Slack!

    What is a Slackestra?
    Unlike a traditional "orchestra" that has union members, black clothes, Music Degrees, and a bushy-haired conductor, a Slackestra is whatever you want it to be, and maybe less! SLACK is truly its own reward.

    There is an organization in Texas called the "Church of the SubGenius," devoted to the teachings of some guy with a pipe in his mouth named "Bob." I'm not a member, but part of their 'theology' parallels mine.

       -- Frank Zappa, in "The Real Frank Zappa Book," Poseidon Press, 1989, Chapter 13, "All About Schmucks," pg 233.

    Frequently Asked Questions
    How do you people make money?
    We're SELF-FUNDED and COMPLETELY independent of The Man. Any money we earn from our shows goes straight to charitable causes or else repair and maintenance of our equipment (this is more costly than you think, considering the age of our vintage (aka "crappy") gear)

    So, What's the point?
    The Slackestra aims quite simply at the total recovery of our psychic force by a means which is nothing other than the dizzying descent into ourselves, the systematic illumination of hidden places and the progressive darkening of other places, the perpetual excursion into the midst of forbidden territory--through music

    How do we contact you?
    For now, email slackulaNOSPAM@yahooNOSPAM.com (remove NOSPAM)

    THE DREAM LIVES ON, AT DREAMHOST!

    We setup a guestbook in 2004, and dumped the service shortly thereafter. These kind suckas kept our guestbook, so feel free to enjoy it!

    Read the slackass gvestb00k!
    Sign the slackass gvestb00k!

    And a BIG "THANK YOU"...

    ...to Count Slackula(tm) for letting us host at his website.



    Bob likes the slackestra
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