E d S l a c k a n d t h e S l a c k e s t r a ®

Update: 03-Apr-2008 - We dun TOLD U SO
So should anyone be surprised that our economy is about to go face-down in a pool of its own vomit? We sure ain't. We've known since about 1995 that we were living on borrowed time, and most of our listeners and fans have took our message to heart. We've been on the "Ed Slack Program" (available here for free) for quite a while now. Enjoy the slack!

03-Mar-2008: Slack Vampires
As you know, we're working on our next album, entitled "Slack Vampires." Rehearsals consist of improving our ability to metabolize frightening amounts of controlled substances while navigating 30-minute-long songs ("But it only seemed like an hour!"). We won't end up actually calling our next album "Slack Vampires," but it's a great name for a jerk in progress.

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Relix The Magazine For Music
We offer reviews on CDs, Videos, Podcasts, Dowloads from various critics and music publications. Also shop our online store for CDs, DVDs, Videos, T-Shirts and Gear, books and posters and guitar string bracelets for the music lover.

Update 05-Jan-2008 - What's up with the slackestra? - Well as many of you have noticed, the slackestra has been on hiautus for about 2 months. The rigors of travel, socializing with morons, and the occassional "straight job" (now THERE's an oxymoron for you) have totally drop-kicked our collective slack through the end zone goal posts. The good news is that we've regrouped and are working on our SECOND album, demo tracks from which have already been given the "high sign" for the usual media circus, and so on. Starting up the summer tour plans as well, so stay tuned, and above all--STAY SLACK.

Update 05-Oct-2007 TRAVELLING SUCKS AND YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR UNDERWEAR MORE THAN TWICE A WEEK - Not much more needs to be said. One good thing is that hotels have television sets. We invented a drinking game to go along with all the lame hospital soap operas they show during prime time.

- Someone breaks into tears: take a sip
- Someone dies: slam your beer
- Some shitty music plays while someone pontificates: take a shot
- Some self-important doctor argues with another narcissist: take two shots
- Some vapid megalomaniac physician sleeps with another vapid megalomaniac physician: finish the case

What do you think? Sounds like a winner to us. Can't wait for the ghey's anatomy - slash - ER drunkfest this thursday

Update 05-Sep-2007 GETTING THE HELL OUTTA DODGE - Busting out of town on our annual "tour de slack." If you're a subscriber to our mailing list, you've already gotten the schedule. I've tried to put some of the dates up on myspace, but it's such a PITA to do that (if you have a multi-night stand you need to go back and re-enter for each night, talk about dullsville!). We'll provide updates in this space if time and slack allows.

Update 20-Aug-2007 JOB ALERT JOB ALERT - well, it's happened. Ed Slack now has a job, for the first time in almost five years. This, more than anything else, needs to be publicized--the recent 'sub prime mortgage meltdown' and credit crunch are certainly signs of an impending economic crisis, but the fact that Ed has to actually work--THE HORRORS! GRAB YOUR SOCKS, PEOPLE.

Update 01-Aug-2007 - Not too much to say, dudes. The popularity of the slackestra has expanded greatly in the past few months, and frankly, it's becoming a household word. Dig this dude who has not only appropriated the name of Count Slackula, but has also started up a Slackestra of his own! Praise 13013!!

Update 27-Jul-2007 - We've gotten some interesting emails from people in the hinterlands, asking us to play a few shows out West. While we're concentrating on our tour (TX-LA-TN) preparations for the Fall, we will definitely do what we can to hook up a few shows in cities like York, Columbus, Grand Island, Sutton...Central Nebraska Rocks!

EXPRESSIVE, USEFUL--AND YES, SLACK--COMPUTER PROGRAMS - 21-Jul-07

FINALLY, a reason to use the Internet. Type any of these programs into your Apple ][ or C-64, and enjoy their insightful, practical advice!

10 REM THIS RULES
20 PRINT "HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU EARN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB "; A$
30 IF (A$ > 30000) THEN PRINT "YOU ARE A TOOL OF THE MAN!!!"
40 IF (A$ < 30001) THEN PRINT "MINIMUM WAGE IS FOR SUCKERS!!11"
50 END

* * * 

10 REM THIS RULES
20 PRINT "DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?"
30 INPUT A$
40 PRINT "IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY, BECAUSE YOUR JOB HATES YOU SUCKA!!!"
50 END

* * * 

10 REM THIS SUCKS
20 PRINT "DO YOU LIKE THE SLACKESTRA "
30 INPUT A$
40 IF LEFT(A$,1) = "Y" OR LEFT(A$,1) = "N" THEN GOTO 60
50 PRINT "YOU DOUCHEBAG ITS EITHER Y OR N" 
55 GOTO 20
60 IF LEFT(A$,1) = "Y" THEN PRINT "GOOD.  THERE IS STILL SOME HOPE SUCKA"
70 IF LEFT(A$,2) = "N" THEN PRINT "GOOD.  THERE IS STILL SOME HOPE"
80 END

FULL ALERT -- 15-Jul-07

It looks like the leash is being yanked and Ed Slack may have to get a "straight job" (if there is such a thing). If you know of anyone looking to pay top dollar for someone who doesn't really do much other than play the B3 organ and run sound please let us know IMMEDIATELY.

Check out our mysapce site: www.myspace.com/slackestra. We update that a little more frequently than this horrendous waste of time called a website. Plus, you get to support "Knecht Ruprecht" Murdoch in his quest to rule the world before googul does.

(1-July-2007) HOLY SMOKES, WE'RE BACK ONLINE -- After a long hiatus, we brought the original SlackuSite back online. The prior version was a bit minimalistic, so we went ahead and brought back the full slack. It will result in decreased credibility and increased suspicion of the slackestra's musical ability and intent, which is how we like it.

* * * NEW MP3S ADDED 16-OCT-04 * * *
(scroll down, look on left)

New slack mp3 located here. This is a departure from our usual slack music, but I suppose it's still slack. Part of a larger surreality work, called "For Just a Brief Moment, We Sounded Like a Pat Metheny B-Side"

* * * New Discussion Thread: Is Lincoln Music A Tool of the Man? * * *

Read about it here
Yes, we know a guestbook isn't the same as a real discussion forum, but then again, if we ever had any real discussions, maybe we'd reconsider. HA!

ANTI SLACK ALERT: CONDITION WHO CARES ANYMORE -- UPDATED 20-DEC
Update (20-Dec) -- We're taking auditions for talent for our upcoming tour in 05. Email slackula at slackula@spamyahoospam.com (remove spam) for details

Update (19-Dec) -- Well, Christmas is upon us, so: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Next year will begin our "Five Gigs in Aught-Five" campaign, and we're looking to do some major damage in the midwest. Until then, be slack.

Update (15-Dec) -- I don't usually plug other bands, but if you're here, you should check out The Mathematics. They're in Kansas, but worth the trip, they kind of rule, and I think they're pretty slack.

Update (22-Nov) -- Well, the good news is that for some unknown reason, there has been a major influx of slack, which means we don't have to get real jobs(tm). Yes that's right--sitting in the basement, making crappy web pages, drinking beer, all that stuff--can continue, at least for a little while. Now we just have to actually do something...Ed Slack saw a free hammond organ (a hammond aurora 8125 or some shiz) sitting by the curb, but by the time he had enough "courage in a bottle" and a truck to go back and get it, it was gone. Let's hope this is a good sign!

Update (20-Nov) -- Ok, the "one gig in 2004" drive is pretty much done for. We're not sure why, but jeez it's been lazy around here in the Slack Labs. Not just slack, but lazy. Seriously, what do we do all day? I don't even know! We haven't turned on the "Old 800," (the Fender Rhodes suitcase piano, so named because of its weight) in almost two months. We blame the city of Lincoln (this joint was anti-slack in the 90s, and is even more anti-slack now) entirely. Maybe it's time to move to New Jersey. Ugh.

Update (13-Oct) -- We're getting ready to kick off our "one gig in 2004" drive. We're hoping to actually play one gig this year. Let me know if you can help. If you'd rather make a cash donation, that's good too.


What does this mean? One of the beauties of the Slack Experiment(tm) is that Ed Slack and the Slackestra® are self-funded and completely independent of the man. Things being what they are, the forces of ANTI-SLACK abhor this condition, and have successfully conspired to STEAL OUR SLACK. That's right--our slack is being stolen right in front of our eyes, like a bad vodka martini night, watching "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" in its entirety, one frame at a time in your lonely apartment (Not that we would know).

If this keeps up, we're going to need to get real jobs(tm), which will place slack in bondage to the man!

In other words, MAJOR SUCKAGE FOR ALL WHO SEEK A LIFE OF SLACK, a TOTAL badass bummer.


HOW CAN YOU HELP?
Contact your local radio station and ask them to play this tune, a grim and terrifying omen of the anti-slack to come. By spreading the word, we can unite as one and defeat the forces of the Anti-Slack.

Also, if you know of anyone willing to pay top dollar for someone who doesn't do a whole lot, FEEL FREE to hook a brutha up!

That's right--contact your radio stations today! FOR GOD'SAKE: Save Ed Slack!!!

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!

Which of these bands' music do you think is best described as psychedelic?

Top Results:
1. The Dead 19.8%
2. The Disco Biscuits 10.5%
3. Furley 8.5%
4. Sound Tribe Sector 9 8.2%
5. Phish 7.1%
3928.  Ed Slack and the Slackestra® 0.002%

Two things.
1) We aren't psychedelic, because we require you to be fully aware of the shift in slackenetelchy that takes place--illegal substances would mar the effect
2) Note that the poll above talks about "rock and roll" -- remember we aren't a rock 'n' roll band, we're a SLACK 'N' ROLL BAND -- there's a difference, or something. We INVENTED the genre (yesthat'sright--do a google on it), so we oughta know, if you dig. If you want, we can slackify anything, anything from "Hey Bob-A-Ree-Bob" to "Land of 1,000 dances." We'll even slackify "Clay Aiken" or "Reuben Studdard."

The Slackestra® is the last living full-groove slack groove band in the Midwest. An evening with the Slackestr®a is unforgettable, as we still cultivate the art of the extended groove. None of our songs are less than fifteen minutes long, we never play the same thing the same way twice, and none of our three-hour shows include more than ten songs. You'll feel like it's 1972 (or 1993, depending on your personal dada-calibration levels) all over again.

Blues, Jazz, Rock, Soul, Funk--nothing is sacred around here. Ed and the boys blur the Record-Company-Defined labels that apply to all these different genres, creating a relaxing yet frightening mix that will alter your stream of unconsciousness. We continually conduct research in this area, and with our generous self-replicating grant money, hope to further Slack in the largely anti-slack midwest.

Get your groove on, and your slack back with the Slackestra!®

Mission Statement: To remain in a state of, and encourage our listeners to achieve, a state of Slackentelechy.

How do we reach this goal? By performing R&D work on new styles of slack music, particularly slack 'n' roll. We also do culinary experiments. Our latest recipe is here

Look at what we came up with! I can't believe we're the first, but it's true...now you can have your very own "While you were Art" message pad--I'm sure we all know people who could use THIS! *cough* *cough* For those who don't get it, click here for an explanation.

What the press say...
"For God's Sake, a Reason to Come to Broadway" -- Chris Rock

"The Slackestra® showcases the Hammond organ, and Ed Slack's organ technique runs the gamut from classic R&B stylings to weird 60s freakout rock. Definitely worth a listen, although be warned that some of the Slackestra's songs can peel paint off the walls." -- Pierce Grimm, Slacker e|zine

"The Slackestra® is certainly one-of-a-kind group. The show is the closest you're going to get to a Zappa/Santana/Monty-Python/Muppet Show mix in this town" -- Chris Clak, Purple Pumpkin Records

"The Grateful Dead, in their slackest moments, got nuthin' on these guys. The "dead" is a lot better band, but they weren't as slack." -- Robert Ong

"This is basically the anti-media equivalent of Quentin Tarantino. Pure genius" -- J2ee


[Ed's note: Muppet Show?]

Slackestra, Chalk Art by Hayden Clark

What is a Slackestra?
Unlike a traditional "orchestra" that has union members, black clothes, Music Degrees, and a bushy-haired conductor, a Slackestra is whatever you want it to be, and maybe less! SLACK is truly its own reward.

There is an organization in Texas called the "Church of the SubGenius," devoted to the teachings of some guy with a pipe in his mouth named "Bob." I'm not a member, but part of their 'theology' parallels mine.

   -- Frank Zappa, in "The Real Frank Zappa Book," Poseidon Press, 1989, Chapter 13, "All About Schmucks," pg 233.

Frequently Asked Questions
How do you people make money?
We're SELF-FUNDED and COMPLETELY independent of The Man. Any money we earn from our shows goes straight to charitable causes or else repair and maintenance of our equipment (this is more costly than you think, considering the age of our vintage (aka "crappy") gear)

So, What's the point?
The Slackestra aims quite simply at the total recovery of our psychic force by a means which is nothing other than the dizzying descent into ourselves, the systematic illumination of hidden places and the progressive darkening of other places, the perpetual excursion into the midst of forbidden territory--through music

How do we contact you?
Click Here to contact us or book a show

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